Why is The Yoke of the Horde being suppressed?
A recent list of top 100 books of all time listed The Yoke of the Horde as 7th. Sure, it could be argued that TYOTH should have been ranked higher, but what's more distressing to Yoke fans is the fact that they still are unable to read their favorite book, thanks in part to the evil publishing company Corchester, Button, and Finkle. These creeps are refusing to let the world read TYOTH because they claim that due to some snafu they "accidentally published it as a third grade history book" and shipped it out to some school in Iowa. In a poorly worded letter (especially for a publishing company) written to David Prior, the official author of TYOTH, Corchester claimed that the "incident caused us great shame, especially considering how truly abysmal your novel was."
They were so bent out shape about the whole ordeal that they refuse to hand back the rights to the novel. But, Corchester has not gotten off so easy. A small faction of the third grade class who received TYOTH as a history book valiantly refused to return their books despite threats from the evil Kimberly Waitkus, the CEO of Corchester, Button, and Finkle (who I hate by the way). These children, little angels really, have done their very best to preserve the twelve extant copies of the book and have been spending their free time, not playing Play Station like their peers, but faithfully reproducing TYOTH word for word so that its legacy will live on in pdf form.
An Excerpt
Scott resembles a man stretched out in a carnival mirror, only lying prone on Flora's couch. Half way through his third bag of corn chips, and surrounded by half a dozen empty forty once bottles of 'Old Squirrel Hill' malt liquor, Scott still does not make the impression of one who ingests more than the minimum amount needed for human consumption. Everything about him is lanky. His hair is short with the exception of the long stringy bands that hang off the back of his neck. His so-called 'muscle' shirt reads "No Fear," and his jeans tightly encase two long skinny legs, which lead like country roads to his pair of size 14 basketball shoes. His face is wrinkly, long, and remarkably out of proportion. He wears a pair of black glasses, thick because as he told Flora just the other day, "I got my eyeball kicked out of my head once." Read more of this wonderful crap.
Start a Yoke of the Horde Fan Club Today!
Yoke of the Horde fanclubs are springing up across the country. Let us know if you would like to start a TYOTH fanclub, and we'll set you up whatever black market weapons systems we can get our hands on.